Depression. Described.

I am often asked what my depression feels like.

What I experience.

My symptoms.

Mentally.

Physically.

The following is a brief glimpse into the world I live in each day, each passing hour and minute.

(To be read w/ an empathetic heart)

Time for transparency.

Where do I begin...?

A glimpse into my world:
Burning.
Torment.
Confusion.
Headaches.
Searing pain.
Brain zaps.
Piercing pains in my head.
Foggy.
Looking through cloudy lenses.
Attempting to peer through a fish tank however its too cloudy and unclear.
Mental anguish.
Being in a dark room and the walls are caving in on me.
Feeling crushed.
Feeling hopeless.
Dead inside.
Being held under water, with no chance of relief and breathe.
Heartache.
Feeling lost.
Not rest.
No peace.
Unable to sleep.
Horrible, vivid dreams and nightmares.
Weary.
Uncontrollable thoughts.
Inability to turn off the negative faucet.
Difficulty reading.
Eyes burn.
Difficulty comprehending.
Difficult making decisions.
Doubting myself.
Insecure.
Aches.
No energy.
Replaying the past over and over.
Frustration.
Anger.
Envy.
Crying.
Wounded.
No meaning to life.
Just existing.
Breathing, barely.
Mental and physically exhausted from the fight.
Wishing to go to sleep and never wake up.
Feeling death over the shoulder.
Whispers (figurative) reminding me of my failures.
Chronic pain.
Mental fatigue.
No clarity.
Inability to get bored.
Creative mindset shot to pieces.
Yearning for rest.
Anxiety.
Pressure.
Feeling left behind.
Afraid.
Fear.
Fear of being alone.

Then that fear being my reality.

I am alone.

#duckfepression